so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
