Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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