my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
