she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
