I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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