once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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