i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
