apparently the secret to your success is patron
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize