yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
