He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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