To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
