Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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