The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
