I'm eating all of the evidence.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
