Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
