When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize