His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize