If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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