Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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