I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
