don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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