thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
