you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
