butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
