I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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