It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
