you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
