btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
