Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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