He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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