Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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