Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
