idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
