oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
