dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
