yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
