Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
