Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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