I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
