apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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