But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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