What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
