and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
