I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize