shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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