I didn't shave. On purpose
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
