Me. At least after what I've been through.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You made out with two different species that night
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
