your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
