I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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