hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
