apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
