Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.

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(410): View more from Maryland

cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me

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(415): View more from California

Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.

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(740): View more from Ohio

He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over

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(678): View more from Georgia

Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.

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(707): View more from California

someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.

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(925): View more from California

…wtf were in those pills mom gave me

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(707): View more from California

Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.

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