Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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