Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
