Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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