Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
