Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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