She said her name was "party"
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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