"it" just moved
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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